Well ladies and gentle men not like you care but none the less I have created more crap (work) that you may be interested in as well I have a new profile which is really obvious and new stuff is on its way really quickly so get yourself a body bag and strap yourself in because this is going to kick ass.

PS it's HuskyCole

Well this is the end for me at this web site. I'm no longer sharing what i have to say with the word just because I no longer care what the world thinks of me and you know what its been along time since I've felt this was about anything so to all who enjoyed it whats wrong with you? to everyone else who likes the images I posted enjoy and I hope you saved them when you got the chance because there gone now.

I probably shouldn't care what any of you say or think once I'm gone but hell first off I'm going to write a little thing about every one who is currently watching my deviant profile. OK maybe not because I don't want to write out seven paragraphs so ill make this quick don't go emo and second off why are most writers of poetry depressed r something all the time honestly we all have our moments, but some people last their whole lives. Next off Mr. Wetton your a cool guy and you probably wont read this so it doesnt really matter but your a cool guy, the only advice i could give you is don't become attached to me. If you are it makes things a lot more complicated but still the same ending either way.

so everyone enjoy what I've written and said because its the last you'll hear from me on this web site.

Well I think its about time where I say absolutely nothing, simply because I'm tired of people second guessing my thoughts and decisions. As or more commonly there are people who I know that suggest that what I say happened in reality didn't happen, for unknown reasons this strikes me as a sign of emotional insecurity, but it may not there is also the possibility that I may be tougher than most when it comes down to holding my emotions back or kept secret.

Well anyways I think something is about to change in my life I just don't know when or if its going to be this week or the next month, my only hope is that I don't become consumed by it, but depending on what it is I may enjoy it (a mystery something else) or it might get me closer to my goals (paintball) now its not like me to leave my walls of psychological security. But I really believe things are going to change for the better.

So hurray I'm fully excited and apart from lying to one of my friends (no one you know).

Ladies and gentlemen this week I'm leaving da so get used to the idea of you message box having nothing in it from me, you can also get used to the idea of me no longer commenting on you deviants or journals. I know I wasn't able to create 10 deviants but it doesn't really matter so enjoy what I have written because its all going to be deleted by the end of the week.

I would like to say that I probably should have never started writing poetry simply because its something I cant be proud of or something I can show to people and still keep my dignity. If I offended anyone with anything that I have written I would like to say to those people who offended it was to you.

I would also like to announce that to some who I know personally there might be more paintball gear in the future as well as a lot more paintball games and a lot of victories.

Well the first thing your probably going to ask is what changed? and I would simply say nothing that concerns you. No I'm not trying to be an ass but just like the only time before I do the only thing I know how to well, shut out and shut off. When I say shut out I mean shut out anyone who is emotionally close to me so if something happens to them it wont make me worse off (no offence to those people), when I say shut off I mean that I shut off my emotion just because I hate that feeling of being rejected by some who was believed to feel the same about me.

So my hope right now is that none of those people read this because simply they would try to make me use a different approach to this problem. Which shouldn't be a hard thing considering that no one ever reads these things anyways. I just realised that there is no point of writing this because no one reads them but me about two weeks after I typed them. So lets finish this up quick just because I would like to do my exercising today as well as continue on with my life.

So basically it happened like this -
1) beginning happy warm fuzzy feelings (liked him)
2) began to hang out with him more (really started liking him)
4) Asked him out followed by more happy feelings (In my eyes from me it was love . . . guess my thoughts weren't shared)
5) Began asking questions to get an idea of what his personal preferences towards my style (so I would look better for him) and I asked he still felt the same way about me (bad news strikes)
6) Still good friends and still talking (I bottled my emotions like always)
7) Talking to friend as it happens (telling no one else to keep everyone normal and so that no one feels sympathetic towards me because I hate it when people are nice to me by circumstance)
8) Sat in my room quietly doing nothing just absolutely nothing
9) this morning (bitter memories that I wont be able to forget)

Paintball news
Just like always paintball is going along slowly and because my boss hasn't gotten his shit together I'm not making money yet and that is really pissing me off considering I need a mask and a whole gun kit plus equipment and I still want to get equipment for my friends. But not all is bad I got Runas, Kaydens and my own co2 tanks filled and I also getting a new stock because I broke my old one faster than any one has ever seen. So between you and me I think I might be getting onto the BLACK OPS TEAM which is what I've been aspiring to be like this whole time, except I'm better than 70% of the guys on the team which is a good sign.

Other news
In other news I'm on good terms with all of my friends and I just hope this part stay together for a while because I'm currently in a mentally fucked up state. honestly I'm listen to system of a down and liking it more than usual. So all is good with my friends and I'm hoping to see some of my closer friends later because just seeing them and talking to them will make me feel better (not about you know what) but other stuff like paintball of whats new with our lives and what we plan to do later or something like that. I'm still leaving DA but that's not that important and I might not even make one more deviant so if I don't come up with anything my next saturday I'm not creating anything new so . . . . . um enjoy.